Somewhere
Happy Little Bluebirds Fly
Now So Will I

Olá a todos! Espero que estejam todos bem! // Hi everyone! I hope that you are all well! I am sorry to have missed making the post last Thursday. But Joseph and I have had a very busy couple of weeks. After two and half pandemic years, the pace of life in Tavira has accelerated. Like at warp-speed. I wish someone had whispered Bette Davis’ iconic “fasten your seatbelts” advice to us. The nights, although bouncy rather than bumpy, have been late. So bumpy in their own way. But Tavira has become its happy self again, that is, relaxed and ready to get down.

The town has gotten its “summer groove” on. Dancing in the streets. Fireworks. Big-name concerts. Local bands and live music. All sorts of entertainments. Nonstop joie de vivre. We have enjoyed it. I will share all of this with you over the next few weeks. I had wanted to do so in this post. But I am just not ready. Well, it is those late nights, etc. Come on, you know. I am sure you know.

This will be a somewhat shorter post. I think. I intend it to be a reflection on the lessons that I have learned here in Santa Luzia. But that does not bode well for my promise of brevity. I have learned so much. Although I feel that I have just begun my education.

In A Happy Place

I have said this many times before and in many different ways. Life here in Santa Luzia is jaw-dropping in its many small moments. It is the little things that ignite my joy and wonder. So the simple and everyday don the amazing. Or is it that wonder disguises itself as the ordinary?

Santa Luzia has given me a textbook. And I am still learning, as I said. Three years ago I would have dashed past the wildflowers of Winter and Spring. Going nowhere particularly important, and certainly toward nothing particularly urgent. Wonder has smacked me aside the head enough times. So that I have begun to stop and to take notice.

Sometimes I am still too distracted. I speed past a small moment. But I am trying to do so less and less. A quote comes to mind each time that I do not screw up a moment. The quote has always been important to me. “Consider these wildflowers that grow here by the roadside. They do not seek fame nor chase money. But, for sure, no celebrity influencer, not even Kylie Jenner, in her Gucci. And no big name footballer, no, not even Cristiano Ronaldo, in his Prada. None! No, none has been nor will ever be as divinely haute-couture as these little wildflowers.”

Simply Consider, Be…

Fame, fortune, power… obviously, not important. But even doing, doing anything. No matter what, no matter how important or morally just. All are far less important than simply being. Huh?

To be. That is, to take notice. Not of some Instagram feed. Nor those preposterous Pinterest pins. No, not even today’s trending TikToks. Try a wildflower. It does not want to monetize your attention. The wildflower seems to shun your attention. Being puny, fragile, even fleeting.

Simply consider and be. Do not pass by or pass up. Take notice. Spend time. “Waste” time. Beauty emerges. Startling beauty. Another quote. “Beauty will save the world!”

Simply be. Just be. So I sit with a wildflower. Or any other unassuming itty-bit. The wildflower changes. I change. The entire world changes. In reality the wildflower and the world remain steady. I change.

When I have the commonsense to stop, to kneel, then to sit. Then I notice beauty, always. Beauty missed or avoided before. The wildflower or whatever stopped me, reveals its beauty. Its revelations denudes the self. That is, me. Foisted upon, I see my beauty, my goodness. If you will, my divinity. Or at least a bit in each.

The wildflower need not be a wildflower. It might be a swooping swallow. Billowy clouds. A sunrise. Or a moonset. Perhaps it is an old gent warming his face and bones in the sun. It might even be the desolate soul camped on the sidewalk. Hand outstretched.

So the wildflower could be anything, and everything. All that avoids notice. Or all I try to avoid. Small or forgotten. Seemingly unimportant. Or too different. Too scary. Perhaps too demanding of precious time. My precious time.

Somewhere, Happy…

“Happy is the person who takes the time to be with the smallest, with the least significant.” Another quote… So I am full of them, or “it”, today. But that quote goes on to turn my thinking on its head. “For it is these littlest ones who have it all. Who have the answers.”

Back now to “beauty will save the world”. I have found two, maybe three, sides here. Once I slow down, stop really. So that I take the time. Then I notice the small and supposedly unimportant. I receive beauty as a result. It reflects my beauty, which I have never really appreciated until then. Never seen. Then gradually I see the same beauty, my beauty, in others, all others, in all the world.

When I take time, when I begin to notice beauty then I am undone. Then I begin to see, begin to discover, beauty everywhere. It is a moment of radical change. There is no going back. Although there have been many turnings back on my part.

Once I thought beauty, goodness, perfection, etc. all had to be toiled for and bought, fought for and won, whatever. That these wonders were all somewhere else. In order to be happy I needed to bring them here. But now I know that they are here and that they are free. Well, not actually free but we will get to that next. I simply need to recognize them. Beauty is somewhere. And somewhere is here, and is now.

And Still, There Is Beauty…

Finding beauty on the roadside, in a wildflower. Or finding beauty with the old gent in front of his quinta as the sun warms our faces. And finding beauty in a snaggled smile generously exchanged for a few coins. But then another step. Allowing this beauty to expose and to reflect my own beauty. Well, then, there is a price to pay. A happy, glorious price to pay!

The happy, glorious price is simply to be. To be the wildflower. To be the old gent. And to be the snaggled smile. To reflect beauty to others and into the world. Exposing their beauty is the price paid.

What does that mean, practically, really? Now I am a co-conspirator with the beauty that I have found. Or rather, that has found me. I must do what I can do to allow beauty to save the world. And it is indeed a “must”, an absolute. The “what I can do” will vary from person to person.

For me the “what I can do” means often small but real actionable steps. Our move to vegetarianism, for example. Or not purchasing most things in plastic packaging. That is, making our footprint on the Earth smaller. There are many small things we have found to do. Life is somewhat more complicated as a result. But much more satisfying. Joyful even.

It has also meant relational changes. Others share the same beauty as I. How do I treat them as less? Or how do I refuse to hear their thoughts and ideas? Or their fears and concerns? And how can I hate them? And rail about them or at them? Even if they refuse to hear me. And even if they claim to hate me.

It Is A Savage Beauty

I try my best. And I do what I can do. I try to take the time, to sit with this beauty. Then I work on balancing tolerance with my own personal convictions. Discovering ways to challenge both my tolerance and my personal convictions. Talk about savage beauty. Not easy. Savage because beauty demands so much of me.

Savage as well because I must nurture my beauty. It takes work. Finding space, feeding and watering, weeding. I must do what I can do. This means, too, continually discovering and caring for my beauty.

Again this will vary from person to person. For me it involves quiet solitude, morning runs, walks through nature. For another it might be music and art. Perhaps it is lively conversation and laughs. We each need what grows our beauty. Just like the wildflowers need the Winter rains and the Spring warming.

How else can I spread, share, this savage beauty that will save the world? I must be in the places that continually reveal and grow my own beauty. I guess we call that our “happy” place. But then, only then, might I reflect your beauty back to you. And do the work in the world that allows beauty to shine its light into the darkest corners and deepest crevices.

This is about balance. We all know how difficult balance is. But self love is not selfishness. And selfish is not self love. Our worst, most destructive moments as humans, I think, result when we err one way or the other.

I Could Bring You Jewels

All this, I know, sounds insipid. And weak. “Be happy.” “Take care of yourself.” It does to me too. But the savage bit is real, however. Remember the demand, that “must”, to do what I can do to expose the beauty outside myself. This demand requires social and ecological justice. To care for others and the Earth. Doing my part to create the change that generates equity. Respecting differences while expecting integrity and honesty. More and more follows.

What is self love? Or being happy? It is definitely not about navel gazing. Except that my navel seems a good portal inward and outward. If that makes sense. I have to look inward in order to see well outward. See the truth (or beauty) about myself in order to behold the truth/beauty of others. I feel another quote coming on about the other side of that coin. “Remove the huge board from my own eye. Then help my neighbor with the speck of dust in her eye.”

Emily Dickinson, another favorite poet, has a poem that begins “I could bring You Jewels—had I a mind to—But You have enough—of those”. It goes on to reveal that the best she can do is share her own delights. To give up and to give away herself. That best, however, she has discovered in caring for herself. Walking to the meadow and sitting with butterflies among the tall grasses.

The Happy End, Finally!

I have come to the same conclusion. But from elsewhere other than among the butterflies. For me, it has been watching the few unharvested pomegranates rotting on the trees here. As they dry, their vermillion leather cases rupture. Rubies and gold spill out. Such is self love. Growing, nurturing and then ripening. Your own tough armor roughly ruptures. Rubies and gold then to share. To receive from others as well.

A lot of blathering here. Not much brevity, which I had promised. So apologies. I try. But as with most things I learn from trying. Doing and redoing. Over and over. Someday maybe I can say all this in 300 words! Right now I am still figuring it out for myself. You, unfortunately, if you are still with me, are forced to bear the brunt of my redundancy. 😊

So I now I have something more to share with you. Something that this meditation has brought me to. Right now, I need to find more time for myself. To recharge my batteries. Fill up my beauty tank. I am running somewhat on empty. Doing a bit too much. And there are a few things and people for which/by whom I am especially needed at this time.

I will try to do two more weekly posts on the 14th and 21st of July. Thereafter, I am going to post on the last Thursday of each month. That will start August 25th. I may post more frequently. I may restart weekly posts. It depends on many things. Até à próxima quinta! // See you next Thursday!